Big Feelings, Little People
- 20 hours ago
- 7 min read
A gentle guide to navigating the start of a new school year
There’s something about the start of a new school year that feels full of possibility.
New shoes. Fresh uniforms. Pencil cases waiting to be filled. New teachers, new classrooms, new friends and for some little ones (including my littlest one!) a very big step into school for the very first time.
And alongside all that hype and excitement can come a whole jumble of feelings...
Nerves. Worries. Tears. Excitement. Frustration. Wonder. Tummy aches. Big questions. Small meltdowns. A sudden “I don’t want to go!” after weeks of confidently talking about school. And if you're a parent standing beside it all, wondering whether you're saying the right thing, you're not alone!
I don't have all the answers and, full disclosure, I am not a child psychologist but, my own children are heading into a new school year too, one starting Foundation and one going into Year 2 and so I’m right there with you, feeling those little (and sometimes very big) back-to-school wobbles. Here are a few things that I'll be trying and might help your family too.
Give those big feelings somewhere to go
Sometimes children don't have the words for what's bothering them. They might not even know what the worry is themselves. Instead of asking lots of questions, I try giving them another way to express the feeling. Draw the feeling.
Get out some paper and pens, loots of colours work well and ask them to draw what they are feeling. It doesn't have to make sense. It could be a monster, a scribble, a storm cloud or simply a big splodge of a certain colour.
You could ask: “If your worry had a shape, what would it look like?” Or simply sit alongside them and draw your own how your feeling that day, abstract or literal there's no 'right' way to do this.
Then talk about it, but don't force it. Sometimes the best conversations happen when we're not looking directly at each other. In the car, walking home, while colouring or at bedtime. And sometimes children just need space and for you to listen. You don't need to fix every worry, nor can you! But you could simply say: “That sounds/looks like a big feeling. I'm here.”
A little Peruvian tradition for big worries
One of my favourite little things in the cheekymono collection is something very small indeed. Worry dolls. These tiny, handcrafted dolls are made by artisans in Peru and come from a beautiful tradition passed down through generations.
The idea is simple. Before bed, your child whispers their worry to the doll and then places it under their pillow. The doll becomes a tiny place to put those thoughts for the night.
Of course, a worry doll can't magically make everything disappear. But rituals can be powerful. Giving a worry a name, talking about it and physically placing it somewhere can help little minds feel that they don't have to carry everything alone.
They also make a lovely little pocket companion or keepsake to tuck into a school bag. BTS wobbles? First-day nerves? Bedtime worries? Playground drama? Or just a big feeling weighing on a little heart? Sometimes a tiny token can be a comforting reminder: I've got this. I'm not on my own.
And don't forget the body
Big feelings aren't just happening in our heads. Our bodies feel them too.
A nervous tummy. Clenched hands. Restless legs. Racing thoughts. A need to run, jump, pee (again), cry or hide. Movement can help here.
Little ones and grown-ups can try bouncing on a trampoline, having a little dance, shaking out your hands/arms/legs, tapping gently on your shoulders and collar bone or arms, or giving yourself a great big squeeze.
Long, slow strokes down the arms can feel soothing too. You could even try giving yourself a gentle rub from your shoulders down towards your hands while taking a few slow breaths.
Try this yoga breathing practice together
Sitting comfortably or lying down, put one hand on your tummy.
Breathe in slowly through your nose.
Feel your tummy gently rise.
Then breathe out slowly, as though you're blowing on a very hot cup of chocolate and don't want to spill it.
Do it a few times without worrying about doing it perfectly.
The you can make it playful, for example instead of hot choccy, blow imaginary candles out, or "smell the flower and blow out the candle", or make a long whoooooosh sound together like the sea.
These are some of the simple breathing, movement and mindfulness tools we use in our children's yoga classes too.
The after school reset
Sometimes the biggest feelings arrive after the school day. You've picked them up. They seemed absolutely fine when thyey ran over from the classroom into your arms. But then suddenly someone is crying because their sock feels funny and they absolutely cannot possibly eat the snack you've bought that they normally love. Sound familiar?
It's worth remembering that holding everything together all day can take a lot of energy
So rather than immediately asking: “How was school?”“What did you do?”“Did you make any friends?”“What did your teacher say?” and, and, and...try giving them a little space to land first. A cuddle. A snack. Some quiet. An invitation to move a little.
Let them bounce, jump, wiggle, swing, run around the garden, listen to music or simply flop on the sofa. Sometimes regulation comes before conversation. And when they're ready, they'll tell you.
A few words they might need to hear
Children don't always need us to tell them “Don't be nervous.” They might actually need permission to feel nervous. To know, that's okay and totally normal and understandable, there's nothing wrong with feeling a feeling.
So try some simple affirmations perhaps before leaving the house or on the way to school while walking...
I can do difficult things.
It's okay for me to feel nervous.
I don't have to know everything.
I can ask for help.
I am safe and loved.
I know you'll be there for me at the end of the day.
I am open to new experiences.
For older children, you could choose one to put on a note in their lunchbox or tuck into their school bag. And speaking of school bags...
Tiny things for little adventures
I love the idea of giving children something small that belongs just to them as they start a new chapter. A little cheekymono keyring on their school bag. A tiny worry doll in their pocket. A little Llama pen tucked into their pencil case. They don't have to mean anything complicated. They can simply be a little reminder of home.
Someone is thinking of me.
I'm loved.
I've got this.
Llama be okay!
Cheekymono's collection of handmade Peruvian folk art and little treasures is full of these kinds of things colourful, characterful and made to be enjoyed. And if you're looking for something to read together, we also have a lovely selection of children's books that can help open up conversations about feelings, confidence, worries and big changes.
And then there's yoga...
This is one of the reasons I love teaching yoga to children so much. Yoga isn't about getting the perfect pose. For little people, it's a chance to explore how their bodies feel, learn some simple ways to breathe and move through big feelings, and discover that they have tools they can use when things feel a bit much.
We'll be bringing lots of this into my new after school Yoga Club at Sandgate Primary School this term, for children in Foundation, Year 1 and Year 2. We'll move, breathe, play, stretch, relax and explore some simple ways to help our bodies and minds feel more settled.
And yes, we'll be using some of those bouncing, tapping, breathing and calming techniques too.
After School Yoga Club
Sandgate Primary School | Wednesdays 3.10pm - 4.10pm
Foundation, Year 1 & Year 2
The club runs as a six-week term and the early bird offer is currently live — save £5 when you book, use code SAVE£5
Little Yogis
For younger children, I'm also running Little Yogis at St Paul's Church Hall in Sandgate. These relaxed sessions are designed for preschoolers aged 2–4 and their grown-up, with playful yoga, movement, breathing, songs, stories, mindfulness and relaxation.
You can book individual classes or the whole six-week term.
Book the full six-week term for just £37 with the early bird offer (SAVE£3), saving £3.
One last thing...
If your little person is starting school and you're feeling all the feelings too, I hope this helps. Please go gently and remember;
You don't have to make every worry disappear.
You don't have to have the perfect words.
You don't have to turn every difficult moment into a learning opportunity.
Sometimes we just need to be there.
To listen.
To sit.
To breathe.
To have a cuddle.
To say “I know. It's a lot.”
And then remind them and ourselves that new things can feel scary and exciting. That we can be nervous and still be brave. That difficult things can be done one little step at a time. And that at the end of the day, we'll be there waiting.
Here's to a new school year. New adventures, new friendships, new things to learn and plenty of space for all the big feelings that come along with them.
You've got this, little one. And grown-ups, you've got this too.
Sara x
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